Are you ok?

No. No, I am not “ok” or even “going to be ok” or anything remotely close.

But I don’t tell you that. I don’t tell anyone that. I say something else. Something that only the kind of “you” that asks that question would understand as total bullshit. You know I’m not ok. That’s why you asked.

I want to be ok, but the truth is that I’m not. I’m trying. I will try. I keep trying. I know tomorrow I might be a little more ok than I am today. Or I might just be a little less ok. Hell, I might even be a whole lot less ok. But…I may be a whole lot more ok.

Who the hell knows? I might be ok in another minute or two. Or…damn…I might just be gone. Who knows?

I believe my God knows. That keeps me going. That gives me hope. He has never failed me. You don’t have to believe that. It might even make me “insane” to believe that. It might be dangerous for me to believe that. I might lose everything for believing that. Some lose their lives for believing that. They are the faithful and blessed.

I am blessed, so ok is irrelevant to me. If I’m ok, then great. If I’m not ok, then I know there’s something already in the works to make me ok.

Light can certainly penetrate the darkness, but most people fail to consider the ability of the darkness to penetrate the light. Even in the brightest of places in our lives…darkness will exist. It can take root. If not tended properly…it might flourish. Weed it out.

End of story.


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1 reply

  1. I agree, but with one reservation.”Are you ok” can indeed be moronic thing to say, along with “snap out of it”, and ” pull yourself together” etc, but what of the person who is trying to understand our world? A world they never have experianced, or may never experienced, yet a world we depressives expect them to somehow understand? Under such circumstances, might the phrase not signify a door held open, or a channel of comunication that the speaker hopes might alleviate our minds?

    The human mind is a bugger to understand at the best of times, so maybe we should recognise and appreciate ghelp when we see it, even if the person offering the help has no idea as regards what is going through our minds

    Just a thought, that’s all, especially as I speak of one who, at times, has succesfully learnt to deal with the gloom

    Oh yes, just one more thought. what on earth do we mean by the word “ok”? Rather like the word “nice”Can it be measured or quantified, or is it no more than an illusion and a meaningless “thing”?

    I wonder, I really do, especiallly if something is termed Ok-ish. See what I mean?


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