You two are made for each other, your marriage was written in the stars
The was the comment that was made to me thje other day by someone who likes us. It was very kind of themn to say so, and the comment was much appreciated, but it got me thinking.
How likely is it that two such souls manage to come together, and it is as unlikely as it seems, how on earth can it be ” written in the stars” or whatever else other people may say
Well it all depends on who or what you believe in. According to one Peter Backus who works at the University of Warwick, the answer is 1:285,000, which again statistically is 400 times fewer than estimated chance of extra terrestrial species. According to others such matches really are written in the stars or ordained by some invisible deity, and finally some more scientifically minded individuals attribute such occurrences brought on through chance meeting and wonderous cocktail of chemicals and hormones
In the light of all these factors and comments so far mentioned I, for sheer fun, have decided to put them all to the test. How so, by looking at one long term relationship in a little more detail, and seeing how likely is that such a relationship might have occurred
To do this a guinea pig is needed, or too be more precise, two guinea pigs, and in this particular instance I could think of no better guinea pigs than my self and my wife, and believe me when I say she really is the better half of the equation!
So let’s get going with a few basics. I was born in London and she was born in Prague. She and her family came over to England because of the Russian invasion, and after a brief spell in Wales they moved to London. We became friends and several years later, and after my relocation to the Isle of Man the friendship blossomed until we find ourselves where we are now some 20 years down the line
Great, wonderful, what could be more natural than two kindred souls coming together, but even at this very basic level, think of even some of the complications that might have occurred
- What if both parental sets hadn’t conceived us?
- What if the Russians hadn’t invaded?
- What if, upon relocation, my wife and her parents had not gone to Wales, and had not then moved to London?
- What if, during the combined 70+ years before marriage we had found other partners and, of course?
- What if my potential wife to be had said no?
On the last point I wouldn’t have blamed her, as I’m no oil painting, and with my history of mental illness it was some challenge that she was about to tale on. To my relief she said yes however, and at the age of 35/36, the deed was done. Now some might say that there lies the proof of the pudding, but what happens if we dig a little deeper, what other factors might have got in the way
- What if my suicidal attempt at age 25 had been succesful
- what if a double threat of compulsory sectioning had gone the whole way
- considering my lack, my total lack of social skills when first going out on a date together, the evening had failed
- When I came to the I.O.M the friendship nearly died. It was only reborn out of an irritable plea from a another friend to establish contact. What if such a request had gone unheeded
- Fortuonatly such advice was heeded, albeit hesitantly , by letter, but again, what if the letter had got last in the post, what is her affections lay elsewhere, or even if free to consider a rekindling, what if she had thrown the letter on a fire
What you see is just a scratch on the surface, as so many other factors could and have come into play, but then does any of it really matter.
We have just come through the ridiculous commercial ripoff that is called Valentines day. That absurd day where some guys actually remember their spouses, and where an enormous amounts of money is spent on overpriced cards, chocolate, roses, and meals. Also That lovely day where billions of teenagers have desperately waited for the postman, or whatever, only to find that they are “loved” by someone who has no name.
Touch wood, in “declaring our love”, we haven’t created any accidental ” seedlings “, and, again touch wood, our next bank statement will contain no red lettering, but one thing is certain, and that is, the long term love, however we define it, makes fools of us all.
So maybe we should leave such things alone, keep on surfing life’s most peculiar waves and tidal patterns, and just try and enjoy or deal with what ever comes our way. Sure when you develop a long term relationship a certain degree of planning and forced adjustment has to occur, but maybe the best approach for any lengthy relationship is the one recommended by the renowned Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who stated
When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory
To all those contemplating marriage I equally commend such words. Let’s face it, by that time so much of what you once valued will have ceased working, fallen off, or been removed surgically, so all to often speech alone remains!
So it is that this post closes, but I hope you enjoy the video below. One is new while the other is one I have used before, but I make no apologies for the latter, as I think it is well worth revisiting. I also hope you enjoy two of my short stories that I believe to be relevant to this post and which I posted back in the Summer, Dance with me, and The Little pot of Jam , but even if such links are not accessed. I wish everyone who is following my blog an enjoyable spring and summer to come
Categories: What if...