What’s all this about Selfies….go ask a camel

Go on...gi'us a kiss....aint I got gorgeous nashers!

Go on…gi’us a kiss….aint I got gorgeous nashers!


It’s Umpety Lumpety here, and were off, or at least I’m off, but not in a degenerative way, if you know what I mean

You see my blog master has said to me get talking, as he says I’ve been a bit quiet recently, so here goes; my very first post, and guess what It’ all about Selfies.

Now don’t get me wrong, I, being a drop dead gorgeous camel, is quite happy to be photographed, and, if I can work the controls, which is tricky for a gal like me, to push all the right buttons, but what I don’t understand is why you ‘umans, always want to shove yourself in the lens

Now I know you reckon youse is wonderful and the king pin of all animals but just look at the three pictures below

selfie 2

Behind you!!!

Picky I…The Sphinx and I..Just good friends

I have no idea who this guy is , apart from he was being carted, or maybe “cameled” around, by a best mate of mine; but who or what do you reckon is important in this ‘ere photo

The Great Sphinx, a huge monument dating back to approx 2,500 bc (give or take  a pharaoh), or some baldish dude in a grey sweatshirt. Don’t get me wrong Pal; I’m sure you are a wonderful person, and all that, but are you known the world over, are you of monumental and monolithic importance. For a human you look ok, but are you 73.5 metres (241 ft) long, 19.3 metres (63 ft) wide, and 20.22 m (66.34 ft) high.


Dinner at my place….a little touch of camel under the stars!

Picky 2…revenge!

One moment you’re fine, just having a natter with a camel, but then he gets a little to familiar, and tries to whisper sweet nothings into your ear

Twas ever thus, twill ever be so, and yes, life can be cruel at times, but in defence of my special mate (Boris by name), he claims he was led astray

I mean there he was as good as gold when this ‘ere tourist tickles him beneath the chin and tells him what a boy he has become

What is any normal camel to do I ask you. There you are standing there like some ancient Egyptian eunuch when some scantily clad lass tickles your erogenous zones and then propositions you out of the blue

Finally let me turn to

camel couplePicky 2…a picture of me and Boris after the end of day

Yes, that’s me, to the left of the picture, (God I’m beautiful) and yes, that’s Boris ( not bad) whispering sweet nothings into my ear

It took me some while to calm down after his antics but good camels are tough to find around here so what is  gal like me to do

“Ain’t I good enough for you!” I asked him after the incident in question.” Don’t I turn you on and then give you my all!”

My point is why do you have to get us in the picture anyway?  Is it, to quote some climber called Mallory, because we are there. You want to come and see us, and ride around the valley; that’s cool, except lose a bit of excess baggage will you. You want to take load of pretty pictures, go for it, go snap crazy, but remember you are human and we are camels, and never will the two species be the same.

I must go soon, as I’m due to go on  an evening tour up and down the valley, but before I go, what’s this Boris was telling me about some daft mare in switzerland exposing herself on Twitter

I mean come on, what’s her game.

  1. First why was she stripping of in a governmental building,
  2. why did she take pictures of her doing so
  3. why in God’s name did she plaster them over Twitter and
  4. How in all conscience can she do that and then claim to be concerned about work place recognition and exposure

11,000 followers and counting, that is what those pictures got her, plus  a potential bollocking from her bosses as to wether

the case breached good faith obligations between employer and employee

All I would say is that, depending on her appearance, they might actually thank her for her performance, but what really amused me was when When asked if she worried that her colleagues might see the pictures, she said:

“The issue is on my mind constantly.”

All I say to the lady is, what goes around comes around, and if you post such pictures of yourself all over twitter, then I’m not surprised to find you have such issues on your minds.

I believe that you lot have the  phrase of

If you’ve got it, flaunt it

But don’t then expect others to ignore you, or look the other way

Heh ho such is life, but one last thing. The video below is filmed in India, but this is not, I repeat not the way, to mount, ride, and then dismount a camel

See what I mean?




Categories: The Umpety Lumpety Files

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  1. Celebrity Twitter Leaks..OMG another one! | Let me tell U a story

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