It was thish big, it bellowed at me, an’ it ‘ad ruddy great big glowin ‘orns !!!… hic!


I think therefore I am...I drink therefore I am... I drink... I drink...I..... I...zzzzz

I think therefore I am…I drink therefore I am… I drink… I drink…I….. I…zzzzz

Imagine you have had one hell of a night on the beer.

You stagger home from the pub, you fall,asleep in a hedge row, or you wake up the next morning, but how ever else you might feel, or who or whatever you might bump into or wake up to, you know that something has gone terribly wrong.

That’s bad enough but what if you start having visions…

really nasty visions that make you think you have got the DT’s

Well if you have ever been there, done that, and got the variably stained T-shirt, may I advise that you never go to Finland, as you might be in for a very nasty surprise.

Why so, because, on order to reduce the mortality rate of reindeer on the Finnish Highways, trials are occurring involving the coating of Reindeer antlers in fluorescent paint

Cute move I hear you say. After all who wants to see Rudolph splattered across the highway, especially if it’s coming up to Christmas, but imagine how you might feel if, staggering up some dark and deserted country lane you heard a loud bellow.

To begin with, depending on your degree of inebriation, you night think it was just a very out of tune carol singers, but wait, what’s this emerging from the gloom.

You use your phone as mini torch, or lamp light, and the full horror of what is in front of you, suddenly appears. I soy a ghost, is it a demon from the Finnish underworld. No it is  reindeer with fluorescent paint on its antlers, and as the light from your camera hits them they light up, along with the reindeer’s eyes, in a ghostly yet brilliant glow

Now I reckon that this would cure any hangover, or t least convince the drinker that he or she had got the DT’s t, so, to end this post, I ask all readers and visitors of this post, to come up with similar hangover cures, and then to place them in a place that, all to soon, might be coming to you.

To get the ball rolling, how about the following painted animals or individuals, just few mind you, just to get you into the mood.

  1. painted elephant tusks
  2. fluorescent bats
  3. nocturnal Morris Dancers
  4. traffic wardens…hit one and hit one  free
  5. giraffes
  6. daddy long legs
  7. MICE!!!
  8. Rudolph
  9. The Three wise men
  10. The grim reaper

So there you go…there’s  challenge for everyone, and then, after staggering back into the nearest hedgerow you really will be able to stumble into your local police, throw up over the counter, and scream out at the top of your voice….

“‘…ONEST OSHIFER, IT WAS THISH BIG, IT BELLOWED AT ME, AN’ IT ‘AD RUDDY GREAT BIG GLOWIN’ ‘ORNS !!!

Cheers everybody, happy drinking, and I hope you enjoy London’s finest musicians and choristers in the video below- The Royal Ukulele Philharmonic Orchestra I belive, and the Trappist Monks of Westminster Abbey.

Enjoy the walk home!

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