Imagine if you can, a guy who knew nothing about friendship, let alone about life in general, until he was 25.
Imagine that at the age of 22 (I think), a sightly giddy but wonderfully free in flight 18 yr old Bluebird came flying into his life
Finally imagine that this guy was effectively an emotionally battered old elm tree, and, much to his surprise, she decided to rest upon his boughs.
Well I was that guy, a guy who is now very happily married for nigh on 20 years, and I love, and will forever love my wife as a lover, friend, companion, and soul-mate. Yet I’ll never forget that wonderful blue bird, as, just for a short while, I was mentally able to fly with her, while at other times she could rest within my branches whist finding out who she was truly soon to become.
Names do not matter here, bodies do not matter here, as to this day, I’ve no real recollection or interest has to how she looked physically, as our friendship, which grew up until the stage hat I loved her, was purely platonic, and there was never a desire between either of us for anything more.
Some of you reckon that a man and a woman can’t have such a relationship; well look at what follows, and then tell me that I am wrong.
The Bluebird and I met when I was working in Chelsea, London. I was lab technician and she was the lab receptionist, and she came into all of our lives like a breath of fresh air. She was like most teenager though. Happy, slightly giddy, and effervescent she was still unsure of who she was, or of who she wanted to be. In essence she needed someone to give her a safe quiet area where she could stop flying, and an area where she could discover herself and grow.
I was lucky, I was the one she turned to for such relief from her flying, and together as friends, but never a lovers, we both began to grow.
I took her to concerts, wonderful concerts, and escorted her back to the flat; then, without any request to do so, I would go.
If she invited me in for a coffee, I would accept that invitation, then I would go.
Finally one day she was very quiet one day after a concert, and I asked her what was wrong.
“Nothing.” She replied quietly “But I’ve been thinking just how lucky I am. You are there for me when I need you, but you never push any limits. You escort me home, and then leave. I invite you in for a coffee , and then you leave, and you never presume anything else is on the menu. You are an old fashioned Gentleman, and there are so few of you around”
I replied that such guys were all around her, but we were quiet, and never would blow any horn, but I have rarely received such a compliment, and it has stayed with me to this day.
What was the result of all this, well I fell hook line and sinker for her, and one day I told her so. She respected my words, and that was fine, as I knew, as she confirmed, that, marriage was not part of the equation, but that doesn’t matter if you truly love someone.
You may love them, your love may be returned, but you can never own, or never should try and own them. The last time I saw her she was over 20 years ago and to my joy she had become a fully grown, confident, and mature young woman, and upon leaving me to go on her travels, she gave me a copy of T. Hardy’s Under the Green Wood Tree.
Inside the book she had written a simple message
“Thank you for all you have taught me!”
I had taught her nothing, I had just held open a few doors and been there for her, and it annoys me when some say that no such love can exist between a man and a women. As stated before, I am now happily married, very happily married, and both my wife and I are looking forward to being together up until one of us dies, but true love knows not of any boundaries, and I honoured and privileged, as anyone with any decency about them would be, that such a lass as my bluebird once stood by my side.
Is it wrong to keep alive such a flame, you chose yes or no, but if a second item of beauty comes before you, does it make sense that the first one should be ignored. Life to me would be dull and pointless if there was only one item of beauty that we might chose.
So there you go, that’s my story, and as I finish writing, my lovely wife sits beside me, with a mug of coffee, a chocolate biscuit, and a smile
Here’s to love everyone, here’s to true love, friendship, and companionship. May Cupid keep on firing his arrows forever, even they hurt us sometimes, or we don’t quite know why they’ve been fired or how.
Categories: Just a thought