In praise of writers “widows and widowers”

In continuation of my previous post ( a re-blog from you can have anything you want, you just can’t have everything)

Oh poor muse...where is my muse!

Oh poor me…my muse…where is my muse!

Hands up all of you who are writers

Good, hands down

Hands up all of you who are bloggers or what-ever-ers

Well done, hands down again please

Hands up all those of you that have a non writing wife, husband, partner, or significant other

Brilliant. I’m happy for you, now ain’t this just fun

Now hands up all those of you who, when in the muse, are aware of the needs and wants of your partner

….Aaah…not so many I see

We all do it, we all get wrapped up in our writing, and I’ll bet we all say

“I’ll be down in a minute”,


“I’ve just go to finish of a paragraph”

As our long suffering partners sit alone on the sofa, or, out of sheer exasperation, nearly throw our now stone cold meal on the fire. How do I know this, because I am  a writer and a blogger, and, to my shame I have repeatedly said such words, and many others, so very many times.

We lock ourselves away, either mentally or physically, and bombard our partners with requests for their proof reading services. We get up at 3. am so as to record a wonderful insight, which is fine, but our partners have to awakened so that they can hear about it, and then, to add insult to injury, we ask them for their opinion of our latest inspiration or masterpiece while being unable to truly express our own minds.

Yes folks, that’s us alright, in all our dubious glory, yet how we writers suffer for our muse!

Not as much as our ever loving partners, who stand by us, for as long as they are able to bear with us, and not as much as our ever loving partners who must sometimes think they are our slave

So may I, in my own way, take this opportunity to come to defense of our long suffering and unpaid “co-writers and ask all of us writers to think about the points that follows

  1. We are not alone when we are writing, our partners wait patiently behind us
  2. we must be just one minute
  3. we must appreciate the effort our partners make to look after us
  4. Our partners cannot read our minds, and they are not obliged to be unpaid proof readers, crystal ball gazers, mind readers, and we should not expect them to have the wisdom of Socrates or the patience of Job
  5. They married us, or whatever, not our writing, and if you doubt me check your vows
  6. Partners come first, and writing second, after all which is more important, your partner and your relationship, or a mere conglomeration and  sequence of ideas, thoughts, and words?

If you doubt me then I ask you to  to view Morgan Shamy’s – The Spouses Survival Guide to Being Married to a Writer. Methinks, as writers, we all have a lot to learn.

Must go now, my dear wife has just reminded me, quite forcefully, and quite fairly, that I’m the one cooking the dinner. My last

“I’ll be down in a minute”

was forty minutes ago. Ah well, the muse…the muse… maybe my wife doesn’t understand me, or more likely she understands me too well



Oh just one last thought, you just getting a you tube video about being married to a writer, you just try!

















Categories: Just a thought, Reality Checks

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