Be Reasonable!


be reasonabaleA few months ago a friend of mine complained that when I had first knew her, I had been far too reasonable. I had agreed with everybody’s views that were being promoted around me, I always saw the other side, and I was always happy to explore a counter argument

“you never state your position!” she lectured me, ” You never state how you feel”

She was right, but due to my poor social skills at the time, and chronic lack of confidence, I sought refuge behind a wall of “reasonableness” which served me well for years

Imagine my amusement when upon expressing some of my views recently, I was informed, by the same lady, that

” you can’t say that, you are being unreasonable!

Why was I laughing inside, well, simply because it confirmed a  behavioural trait that I had known about for years.We all say to each other that we believe in freedom of speech, freedom of expression, and the rights of the individual, but do we really believe in such things. We all know the expressions of

  1. I appreciate where you are coming from
  2. with the greatest respect
  3. I value your opinion
  4. that’s a very good point
  5. I hear what you saying
  6. That’s very interesting
  7. Be honest with me

but when we say such words what do we really mean. How about the following translations

  1. I don’t care where you are coming from
  2. I’ve no respect for you
  3. your opinion is of no interest to me
  4. that’s bovine faecal material
  5. Shut up
  6. Oh God, not again…yawnnn
  7. Agree with me; or lie

My friend God bless her had asked for my honest opinion as regards the animalistic behavioural tendencies of mankind . I gave it to her freely, out of sheer devilment, but she hadn’t wanted honesty, she had wanted conformity and she had wanted me to back up her views.

So it got me thinking. What do we really mean when we ask someone to be reasonable, and when we ask for their honest opinion, do we really want them to lie

Just a quick thought fora lazy Sunday. Any thoughts on the subject, any replies?

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